


Traditions

by orphan_account



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Also a little angst, Angst, F/M, FitzSimmons - Freeform, Fluff, Pining, maybe more than a little angst, valentine's day traditions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 19:38:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3352904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Besides, it wasn’t her fault that this tradition nonsense was started. He was the one who set the ball in motion when he gave her the first bouquet, the one who hadn’t forgotten to do so a single Valentine’s Day since.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Traditions

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic for my secret Valentine, hail-the-mighty-glow-cloud. Her prompt for me was "Fitzsimmons's Valentines traditions," and I hope I did a decent enough job. Enjoy!

Jemma smiled softly as she sleepily marveled at a small bouquet of flowers. While it is ordinary for love-struck girls to admire gifts from the objects of their affections, it’s not so common for them to be doing so at 3 a.m. in their kitchens wearing stolen M.I.T. jumpers. It is even less common for the person such girls are mooning over to be nothing more than their best friend. However, the lack of sense in what Jemma was doing didn’t bother her. In fact, it was almost a tradition for her to forgo sleep on Valentine’s Day.

 

Not that she enjoyed this particular tradition. Far from it, in fact she almost wished she could wish it away. Of course she had tried everything before to keep her feelings in check: denial (didn’t hold up for long), flirting (he hadn’t noticed), and even seeing other people (her heart just wasn’t in it), but nothing had worked.  

 

Jemma hated herself for being in love with Leopold Fitz, for putting everything they had at risk, but she couldn’t help it. She couldn’t lose him and he didn’t love her, but she couldn’t stop wanting to kiss his stupid face and hold his hands and do other things she probably shouldn’t think about where her best friend was concerned.

 

That, unfortunately, didn’t stop her from being in love with a certain Scottish engineer, and somewhere Jemma knew, deep down, that nothing really could. So instead of having a mental collapse or suffering from Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, she compartmentalized. Jemma was very organized, and there was no space in their relationship or time in the lab for her emotions, so she kept herself in order. Well, most of the time she kept herself in order.

 

Besides, it wasn’t her fault that this tradition nonsense was started. He was the one who set the ball in motion when he gave her the first bouquet, the one who hadn’t forgotten to do so a single Valentine’s Day since.

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

“The red one.”

 

“Hmmm,” Kelly sighed, twirling in front of the mirror. “Are you sure? I mean, Noah’s favorite color is blue…”

 

“But your favorite color is red, and I know you love that dress.” Jemma stood up and took her roommate's hand, “Besides, if Noah can’t see how stunning you look, one, he must be blind, and two, his loss.”

 

Kelly turned to the mirror, silent, then smiled at herself. “You know what, you’re right Jemma.” She turned to face her friend. “I am a strong, smart, sensual woman and if he can’t see that then I’m better off. I deserve someone who sees I’m beautiful.”

 

“That’s my girl," Jemma beamed. “Besides, it’s Valentines Day, the red is appropriate,” she finished as someone knocked at their door.

 

“Come in!" the girls called shortly before their door was thrown open and a thick Scottish accent bounced around the room.

 

“Jemma, I was working on our project for Dr. Wood’s class when I noticed the compression on the…” Fitz said as he charged into the room, trailing off as he suddenly noticing the stunning figure Kelly made.

 

“Wow, Kels,” Fitz breathed, “You look great.” For some reason, his words caused a twist in Jemma’s stomach, probably because she wished someone would say that to her. Not Fitz, of course not Fitz, he was her best friend. Just her best friend. A smile spread across Fitz’s face, “Did that guy from Operations finally ask you out?”

 

‘Yeah,” Kelly sighed dreamily, practically floating. She and Noah had been dancing around their obvious feelings for each other for months. To be honest, it had been driving Jemma insane. The sexual and romantic tension that surrounded the couple was strong enough to use as a MIL-SPEC weapon, and she had been about two days away from locking them in a closet together until they either confessed their affections or snogged each other senseless. “Fitz, you’re a guy...”

 

“Shockingly,” Fitz mumbled, rolling his eyes.

 

“Shut up,” Kelly said, playfully slapping his arm. “But seriously, I mean, can you give me any advice?”

 

“About what?”

 

“Noah.”

 

“You don’t need any, he’s practically wrapped around your finger. It’s like he’s constantly giving you heart eyes.”

 

“I’m serious, Fitz-,”

 

“So am I. Trust me, you don’t need any advice. You don’t have anything to worry about; he thinks you’re great.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Really.” Fitz promised, and Kelly beamed at him. Then three tentative raps on their door signaled the arrival of another guest. Jemma made her way to the door, opening it to a flustered Operations student.

 

“Hi,” he said. “I’m Noah.”

 

“Nice to meet you, Noah. I’m Jemma, the roommate, and that-“ she said, pointing to the only other male in the room, “is Fitz.”

 

“Is he your boyfriend?” Noah asked, causing to Jemma and Fitz to respectively snap and stutter a “no!” while Kelly giggled.

 

“No, they’re ‘just friends.’” Kelly said, putting an emphasis on ‘just friends’ that caused Noah to glance back and forth between them. Jemma felt the tips of her ears turn pink, and suddenly she was at a loss as to what to do.

 

“...Ok,” Noah said, then cleared his throat. “Well, um, it was nice to meet you two, but, if I've passed inspection,” he continued in a slightly nervous tone, “could I take Kelly to dinner now?”

 

Fitz looked him up and down, “Well, I suppose you’ll do,” he said, which caused him to receive yet another arm-slap from Kelly.

 

“I’m ready if you are,” Kelly laughed, resting her hand on Noah’s arm. He smiled at her, then fumbled for a second before handing her something.

 

“This is for you,” he said as he handed her a red rose.

 

“Oh,” Kelly gasped. “It’s beautiful!”

 

“Not as beautiful as you,” He smiled while taking her hand as they started walking down the hallway. Jemma closed the door behind them.

 

“They were so sweet,” she sighed.

 

“Too sweet, I may have a cavity because of their pre-date flirting.”

 

Jemma shook her head at him, “ Anyways, you said something about the compression-“

 

"-with the dispensation chamber is too high-"

 

“-have you tried-”

 

“-exchanging the ball valve with a tapered...”

 

They they fell into a rhythm as they bantered, throwing ideas back and forth, in sync even when they argued about their project. They talked long into the night, a background chatter as they worked in tandem, hands like clockwork over their papers, a form of precise synchronization Jemma had never felt with anyone else. Their motions, almost like a dance, made her feel as if she knew what he was going to say or do before he did so, and as if he knew her better than she knew herself. It was terrifying to be that connected to someone, but comforting as well, like the feeling you get when listening to an old favorite song. You might know all the lyrics by heart and the melody better than your own heartbeat, but it never grows old, just more comforting and meaningful with time.

  


Jemma reexamined Fitz’s calculations for the new blueprints, her pen tapping mindlessly, eyes darting over the paper. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she could almost feel Fitz’s eyes on her, but instead of making her feel uncomfortable the thought made her oddly warm. Jemma shook her head, convinced that her tiredness was provoking absurd thoughts, and placed the blueprints down on her coffee table. She then glanced up into the bright blue eyes of her partner.

 

“That should do it,” Jemma said, sighing tiredly as Fitz grinned. He was always most relaxed after he finished a project, his constant energy slowing down to a content warmth; a kind of warmth that she could feel when he smiled at her like that. Of course, she thought, I only feel that way because I’m happy that Fitz is happy. Yes, that’s it.

 

Suddenly, Fitz looked up at her, alarmed. “It’s Valentine’s Day.” He said.

 

“Yes, genius,” Jemma replied, rolling her eyes.

 

“I know, but what I mean is that it’s Valentines Day, and you’re here with me.”

 

“…Yes,” Jemma said, confused as to why Fitz was surprised by this. He was her best friend; there was no one else she’d rather be around.

 

“You could have been at the party being thrown at the Boiler Room, or out on a date, it’s not like enough guys don’t make eyes at you-“

 

“What’s your point?” She asked, her heart tripping over a fact she herself hadn’t realized yet. “I mean, we had to finish the project. Our work comes first Fitz, and everyone knows what a tough grader Dr. Woods is. Besides, you could have been doing those things too.”

 

Fitz paused, eyes trained on her face. “Yeah,” He said, looking at her in a way she didn’t like. Like she was a mystery he wanted to take apart and put back together again, as if she had said too much, or as if he was figuring out how the cogs in her mind spun. She loved Fitz (platonically, of course) but she wasn’t ready to tell him yet. Then the thought snapped into place, making her feel as though the wind had been knocked out of her.

 

 _I’m not ready to... I can’t possibly think that way_ , Jemma panicked, eyes flashing momentarily before she regained her composure.

 

She wasn’t ready to lose the kindest person and best friend she had ever had. She was damaged enough as it was, losing him would break her. Besides, engineers built machines; they weren’t required to fix them. Especially ones that would never work properly regardless of their efforts.

 

“Thanks,” he said, pulling her out of her thoughts and stuffing their revised blueprints into his satchel.

 

“No problem,” Jemma breathed, smiling through the pain in her chest, waving at him as he walked out the door, then closing it behind him. Under her crushing revelation Jemma’s strength rushed from her and she collapsed against the doorframe, suddenly feeling as if every bone in her body had turned to jelly. She was light headed, and it felt like she couldn’t breathe.

 

She was in love with Leo Fitz.

 

Fitz and Jemma were so close they were practically one person, FitzSimmons. They were pretty much symbiotic. In fact, their relationship existed with a kind of codependency that was probably unhealthy. They needed each other. She needed him, and he had no idea how badly.

 

God, she wanted to tell him. She wanted to wrap him in her arms and kiss him. Not that it mattered, she was sure her feelings were one sided. In fact, she knew it. She shouldn’t even dream about him feeling the same way. Being in love with him hurt so terribly bad, but it was a pain she couldn’t resist. Besides, if anyone was worth falling for it was Leo Fitz, even if she knew she’d break her own heart in the process.

 

Heavy with the weight of her revelation, she moved slowly towards the couch, sinking into its softness with her head in her hands. A knock pounded against the door.

 

“Come in, Kelly,” Jemma called softly, irrationally feeling as though she was going to cry.

 

“Sorry,” A voice that was most certainly not Kelly’s answered as the door inched open. “Just me,” Fitz said.

 

 _Just you_ , she thought, feeling as though her emotions had tumbled even further out of balance. He frowned when he saw the look on her face, crossing the room in long strides.

 

“Jemma,” he said, reaching out, hand on her shoulder, moving onto the couch beside her. “Jemma, are you ok?” She couldn’t meet his eyes and in that moment she felt torn, he was too close and too far away.

 

“Of course Fitz, just tired.” She responded, hoping that she had said the right thing. Her answer must have been sufficient enough for him, because he moved away, and she felt like she could breathe again. “What are you doing back here, anyway?”

 

“Oh, um, well, I found this bouquet of flowers, I mean it was just lying there so I picked out some of the flowers that weren’t completely destroyed,” Leo’s accent got thicker and thicker with each word, like it always did when he was embarrassed. “So I thought you might want these,” he said as he handed her a bundle of yellow roses, words rushing together. Jemma had no idea what to say. “Happy Valentines Day, Simmons,” he finished meekly, the tips of his ears blushed pink.

 

“Oh, Fitz,” Jemma said, hugging him quickly with one arm and holding the flowers in the other. “They’re beautiful,” she said truthfully, she could hardly believe that he’d just found them lying around, "but I didn’t get you anything.”

 

Fitz laughed as she bustled around her kitchenette, “You didn’t need to, besides, I don’t think finding a mangled bouquet warrants you giving me a gift."

 

“Still,” she said, arranging the flowers in a vase, and noticed that one of the flowers was not a rose at all. She picked it up and examined it, trying to figure out what it was. She sniffed it. Lilac, she thought, most definitely lilac. While she appreciated what Fitz had done, something didn’t sit right with her about this. For one, the flowers were in much too good condition to have been found in the way Fitz described, and, secondly, all of them were uniform yellow roses except one. Had he bought them for her, and if so, why did he feel the need to lie about it? He probably doesn’t want me to confuse him being sweet with flirting, she thought, and placed the sprig of lilac with the other flowers.

 

“Really,” she smiled, “thanks.” She wanted to curse the butterflies she got when he smiled back. They stayed that way for a moment, smiling at each other like idiots in love. Then, just as quickly as the moment appeared, it dissipated.

 

“Well,” he said, making his way towards the door again, “You should probably get some rest. I can’t let my best friend get sick, now can I?”

 

“Of course not,” she rolled her eyes as she walked him to the door. “Goodnight, Fitz.”

 

“Goodnight, Simmons,” he smiled, then leaned down and softly kissed the top of her head before closing the door behind himself.

 

Feeling frozen by the door, Jemma whispered, “Happy Valentines Day,” to no one in particular before heading to bed.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> PS- I totally stole a line from Bob's Burgers, but I have no regrets it was too perfect.  
> In case it needed to be said, the characters aren't mine I'm just borrowing them.  
> Also, if any of you wanted to look up the meanings of the flowers that Fitz gave to Simmons, well, I think it's kinda cute.


End file.
